Like my book reviews site, these are movie reviews I write for entertainment purposes only. These are just my reviews and my opinions. They are not endorsed by Blogger or any movie studios or anyone else. So there. I borrowed my scoring system from the Metacritic site, which does not imply an endorsement from them, although I think they do have a very nice website. I convert the 1-100 scores into 1-4 stars, essentially it works like this:

1 star = 25 points
2 stars = 50 points
3 stars = 75 points
4 stars = 100 points

And then if something falls about halfway between, then I'll give it an added half-star.

Monday, March 22, 2010

Lesbian Vampire Killers

(The title for the American release was actually watered down to the more generic "Vampire Killers.")

This movie is like "Snakes On a Plane" or "Hot Tub Time Machine" in that the title succinctly summarizes what you'll get.  Though to make it clear, it's about killing lesbian vampires, not people who are lesbians and kill vampires.  But "Killers of Lesbian Vampires" while more accurate lacks the same panache.

At any rate there was no way I could resist watching a movie called "Lesbian Vampire Killers" any more than I could resist watching "Jesus Christ, Vampire Hunter" a few years ago.  The latter is an extremely cheesy movie made on a shoestring budget where the title also tells you exactly what you're getting: the Son of God fighting vampires who were stalking lesbians.  (For some reason makers of cheesy vampire movies are drawn to lesbians.)

What surprised me is that this movie is actually from the UK and also that it's not as cheesy and cheap as JCVH either.  Granted it's not "Avatar" in terms of effects either, but it doesn't look completely homemade.  The closest comparison you could make would be "Shaun of the Dead" only with lesbian vampires instead of zombies.  In both cases we have an average British guy paired with his chubby friend.

The average guy is named Jimmy and his chubby friend is named Fletch.  Jimmy has just been dumped (yet again) by his girlfriend while Fletch has just been fired from his clowning gig for punching a kid--yet again.  With the two of them at loose ends they decide to go on holiday.  But Jimmy's money is tied up in his ex-girlfriend's car and Fletch has no money, so they throw a dart in a pub and decide to go to the town of Chagwich to hike.  Chagwich is of course terribly creepy, but it's made better by the presence of four young women who are there to study the town's folklore.

That folklore would consist of a queen of vampires who has placed a curse on the town so whenever a girl turns 18 she becomes a lesbian vampire.  Only the descendant of a baron who defeated the queen previously can end the curse.  Guess who that is?

Jimmy, Fletch, and the girls head through the forest to an even creepier cottage and from there the vampire killing begins.  Like in "Shaun of the Dead" the guys are not exactly experts when it comes to lesbian vampire killing.  They're helped though by a vicar in the town who is trying to end the curse before his daughter's 18th birthday.

The movie was pretty fun in terms of B-movie horror films.  Obviously it wouldn't win any awards for cinematic achievement, but what else do you expect from a movie called "Lesbian Vampire Killers?"  Best of all is that the film doesn't take itself too seriously with characters (especially Fletch) pointing out the ridiculousness of it all.

Basically I'd say if you liked "Shaun of the Dead" then you'd probably like this one too.  Though from a misogynistic point of view I would have liked some more boobs and more than lesbian kissing, if you catch my drift.

That is all.

My score:  62/100 (2.5 stars)

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